Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
I feel like most of the population probably has, to one extent or another. So, yes, yes I have. For a while I thought that something was up because I would like guys and then the moment they liked me back I was completely turned off (this is, for the record, still the case) and so I thought that maybe it was actually just because I didn’t actually like males in the first place. That’s just not true though, I’m just messed up, haha. I can recognize that girls are attractive, but I have never “felt something” for another female. Guys, on the other hand, I fall for left and right. I talk with them and my heart palpitates out of order, my hands shake a little and there is a distinct release of dopamine. Then I think about them and dream about them and get excited to see them. I tense up when they’re in the room and I feel near physical static or electricity passing through me when their hands brush up against mine. I think about getting married and spending time together with boys. I feel safe and happy in their arms. Emotionally, physically and psychologically I crave a male.
So, yes, I have questioned my sexuality. Especially last year when this cute british girl who I worked with (and who was, in fact, of the homosexual orientation) tried desperately to seduce me, and would talk at length with me about how maybe I was actually a lesbian and just didn’t know yet. But throughout every exploration of myself I have come to the undeniable conclusion that I am straight.
